I'm Fine, Everything is Fine...

Anela Pule

Posted on March 22 2020

I'm Fine, Everything is Fine...

Hey mom! First of all, how ya doin? This past week and I’m sure the next upcoming weeks will be challenging, but we got this right? There are so many questions where the answers are unknown.

  • When will this end?
  • Will I have a job once this is over?
  • Am I protecting my family well enough?
  • How will I pay bills this month?

Despite the questions and concerns, all we can say and keep telling people is that "we’re fine."

So my oldest is 5 and he’s not in school since his birthday is in late September. (He was enrolled in a TK program for about a month, but that’s a completely different story.) Anyways, he’s old enough to know that something is “different”. I guess it doesn’t help that I watch the news often and you can’t go 5 minutes without hearing the words ‘coronavirus’ or ‘COVID-19’. However at this point, he’s starting to ask why stores are closed and why we’re being told to stay home. Trust me when I say, I tried my best to explain to him that people are sick and there isn’t a medicine available yet to help them. It’s a struggle and the only words I continue to tell him is “we’re fine.”

To those who continue to work...I’m talking about those with essential jobs who continue to expose themselves to the general public. And more importantly to the first responders and those working on the frontline. I cannot fathom what you’re going through...what you’ve seen, the conversations had with a patient’s friends/family, or the weight you hold on your shoulders. Regardless, you continue to put your safety and health at risk. For that, I will say thank you. I’m sure you get asked numerous times “how are you?” and, more often than not, I’m guessing your response is “I’m fine.”

Now let’s all be honest, are we really 'fine'? As moms or as women in general, I think we know how to put on an awesome poker face. I think we say we’re fine to either convince other people, convince ourselves, or just to say it because we don’t know what else to say. We can all agree that times right now are really rough. Whether you have school-aged children who are now home, or your job is currently in limbo due to recent “stay at home” orders, let’s just call it what it is and we’re stressed AF. At least I know I am. Today I cried...okay I admit...I’ve cried almost every day since March 16th. The fear of uncertainty terrifies me. I’m scared for my kids, my relationship, my friends, my family, the entire world even. Deep inside I’m stressed, my anxiety is on edge, I’m overly emotional, but don’t worry I’m fine, everything is just fine.

Eventually this will pass. Eventually we'll be able to enjoy the company of others in a group setting. Eventually we'll return to a sense of normalcy. Until then, we must all do our part to...Stay Home. Stay Safe. Stay Positive.

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